Are We Preparing for Marriage or Divorce?

So I am sure that you have heard get your education, become financially stable, and be self-reliant before you get married it will make it so much easier. Sound familiar? Well perhaps we are doing quite the opposite of preparing for marriage, we are preparing for divorce by taking these steps. Well if your getting your education in the hopes of graduating first and then finding a steady job you are becoming self-reliant. But isn't marriage supposed to be relying completely and totally on your spouse? It is! You are suppose to place all your worries and burdens upon you husband or wife and vise versa but if you are already in the habit of self-reliance then this practice will be a trial in your marriage. My teacher shared an experience with us of when he has attended a ropes course together with his wife and while they may differ in weight they both have to rely completely on each other or else they will fall. Eventually they are several feet apart and still strong this is a great example of how we can be stretched out with work or children but if you rely on one another completely than you will remain steady and immovable. Although your probably thinking I am 19 and single what does this have to do with me? Perhaps you are struggling with this now because I am! Right now I want nothing more than to become a successful therapist and accomplish great academic achievements then live independently and be a strong a woman and then if marriage fits in that’s great. But this isn't exactly what I should do; we should be living the best we can and seek to accomplish our goals but know that we need to rely upon others because this will be one of the greatest preparations that we can have for marriage. If you enter into marriage with the mindset that if this fails you have a back up plan than you have the wrong attitude because you should enter marriage with no easy escapes plans there should be no plan B. 

                                          XOXO Honey Bee's and Sweet Dreams

We Just Saw Each Other and We Knew....

So I go to BYU-Idaho and all around you hear girls "Oh my gosh, well we meet last week and we just know! We are getting married on our 3 months anniversary!" Now I am not discrediting those relationships that do work out but come on! If you have a slight desire to slap that girl and then ask her if she knows his last name I have a feeling we would get along just great. And you are right recently I have been studying types of love and dating and did you know it takes around 3 months for those rose-colored glasses to fade; suddenly your realizing that’s why you get really annoyed with roommates!  That’s because till then we are seeing what we want to see and LOVE IS BLIND but it doesn't have to be you can actively follow your heart in a relationship without losing your mind. So I present to you a way that you can start accessing your dates and moving towards love and it all starts with the date. Now if your not Mormon its totally fine and doesn't matter because although the principals discussed are special to us they are qualities all woman want. So first a date should be planned, paid for, and paired off which these go along with the ideal husband that presides, provides, and protects. First a date should be planned by this he is showing you that he can make plans and then follow through with them; and who doesn't want a husband who makes plans then knows the measures necessary to execute them(valentine's day?)? Next it should be paid-for which translates to a husband who can provide! And men we are not asking you to fly us to Paris but this means your creative like what girl doesn't want to go couch sledding? This is him showing you that he can provide fun and on a budget, a man doesn't need to be rich it is all a matter of what he does with what money he does have! And lastly it should be paired off and your probably wondering how does paired off go with protect and that is that both of these show a level of commitment. When they make the effort to be just with you they take on the responsibility to take care of you and woman your probably thinking that this is the 21st century and I can protect myself but why would you want to its so much hotter when a man does it! So whether you are single, deeply in love after the 1st date or seriously dating keep in mind that a man is a lot more than just fun and cute as he should be!
                                       XOXO Honey Bee's and Sweet Dreams

In a World of Black and White there is Perhaps More Grey Than You Thought

So being raised in an extremely conservative home and state for that matter the issue of homosexuality is something that had always been very definitively black and white. This was one of those controversial issues that I was not on the fence about and believed there was no grey area. Well needless to say I was wrong! With such a complex topic that varies from person to person how can you have one harsh stance? How can you clearly say that the person is doing something that is not justifiable to them in their own mind, or that logically by evaluating their past can not make perfect sense? This is something I had never evaluated until I learned that 68% of men that define themselves as gay have been sexual abused. That is outstanding! The choice to define your self as homosexual is a struggle that transcends far beyond general attraction. I learned that I can't evaluate someone else's life because I don't know their personal tribulations that they may have faced. And what a huge surprise it is so see that defining your self as homosexual is actually a matter of intimacy confusion not the "born that way" terminology that is so widely accepted. I think that in a world where there is so much hate, so much attack on self worth, and on being different from what is considered "normal" that we must realize if we want to make a change and have more love, increased confidence, and acceptance of differences and how we can learn from them then we first have to start with ourselves.Love others for the beautiful imperfect people that they are and you will find that the love of Christ will fill your heart and the hearts of those that look at you. So maybe consider that perhaps there may be more grey in the world than you thought and realize that it’s not bad its what makes life worth it. 

                                    XOXO Honey Bees and Sweet Dreams

The Haughty Taughty and the Homeless

So your and idealist and believe that everyone has equal opportunities and there is nothing wrong with that; it is the American way to believe that we can progress and achieve financial success and this is lovely but perhaps it is not as desirable as you think. I like most of you fully believed that I wanted to work and achieve a higher class than that which I was raised in; ideally a life where money was not a concern and vacations were frequent and lovely. But what I learned recently was that this perhaps is not something I want. Did you know that you would always feel more comfortable with those from your original social class? So what does this mean for you? Would you like to be a social climber and offer your children a promising future but feel constantly inadequate with those around you? Or perhaps struggle slightly and have friends that are content with their social class? Well some will choose the latter but regardless it is most important to be happy where you are so whether you live in the suburbs or the slums follow the Bob Marley’s example and know that every LITTLE thing is gonna be alright!
                                           XOXO Honey Bee's and Sweet Dreams

When abnormal becomes the norm..

So previous to this week I thought I had the most dysfunctional family... like the family that makes the Kardashins look completely functional. But this week I discovered that my family deals with similar issues to others and that the idealistic family that you always see and are the perfect Mormon family that is a direct descendant from Joseph Smith. Right about now you instantly think of that family in your ward and they are perfect and have no problems. Well the truth is they are NOT PERFECT! Each family has their struggles and as much as we like to be different and individualist this is less true than we would like we really all struggle with the same problems. Rather it is the 7-year-old girl who gets picked on because of her bangs or the 19 year-old at BYU-I who is an "old maid" regardless of where you are in life we all struggle. But now that we have established this I just understood this outstanding concept with the technical term of family systems theory but this is the basic understanding that everything that each member of the family does affects the whole family. An example is a child struggling with addiction although they may see this as only effecting themselves this pulls on every member in the family to readjust and change their role. This theory really affects everyone like a circle; if you pull on one side the circle is going to become distorted but none the less it is still a circle. So go and enjoy your family and realize they may not be a crazy, abnormal, and dysfunctional as you may think or maybe they are....

                                           XOXO Honey Bees and Sweet Dreams

Trending or Catostrophic?

 

Hello again! Well this week it has been interesting to discover that one of the biggest beliefs of this time is that of overpopulation; which is the idea that with populations expanding so rapidly that before long we will not have the resources necessary to sustain at the same level as we do now. Surprisingly enough this is one the greatest falsies of our day and an issue that shapes and forms our opinions on matters from when to have children to viewpoints on political policy’s. Interestingly enough overpopulation is FALSE! Surprising I know with media and statics being distorted this is a message that is has redefined the family. Currently the United States is not even maintaining sustainable numbers. So what does this mean for you? How could population declining affect you? Well if you have hope of ever retiring or of having a family that you spend time with you should probably reconsider your stance on this issue. Statics are showing that if population does not increase you will have to be smarter, work harder, and work longer with no financial benefits coming for your sacrifice besides having a job. And with less workers social security will soon diminish to 3 retiree to 1 worker. Doesn't paint the picture that you imagined when you envisioned a world with fewer people and greater amount of resources does it? Well now that I have given you the doomsday blog go out find a date and HAVE MORE KIDS!

                                                                XOXO Honey Bees and Sweet Dreams

Here are some great classmates of mine's blogs! Check them out to see what their thoughts and insights are!

Brian Tait

http://dafamilyman.weebly.com/index.html

Jaime Shelton

http://jamiepslifeisgood.blogspot.com

Susie McHan

http://susieqatbyu-i.weebly.com/

Laura Espinoza

http://espinozafamilyof7.blogspot.com/

Teralyn Young

http://teralynsmarriagefamilymusings.weebly.com/

Cierra Beck

http://cierralifeisgrand.weebly.com

Brittany Halstead

http://marriagethoughtsbybrittany.weebly.com/index.html

Emily McIntyre

Shane Esplin

http://johnshanesblog.blogspot.com/

Hailee Coulson

http://haicoul.blogspot.com/

McKayla Weech

Kiera Hinkson

http://kieramachelle.weebly.com/

Marina Eliason

http://threeblissfulmonkeysandamomma.weebly.com/

Angie Hendrix

http://angiehendrix.wordpress.com/faml-160-a-few-of-my-thoughts-on-the-world/

Dave Walker

http://davesfamilyrules.weebly.com/

Ashley Rupp

http://ashbobash88.blogspot.com/

Heather Rupp

http://heatherfeather23.blogspot.com/

Annelise Bean

http://familythroughtheeyesofannelise.blogspot.com/

Grace Skidmore

http://graceskidmore.blogspot.com/

Cindy Pointer

http://thefascinatinglifeofmoi.weebly.com

Kelly Furrows

http://mrandmrsfurrows.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html

Eryn Nelson

http://sunnydaysatbyyu.blogspot.com/

Emma Rodrigues

http://emmarodrigues.blogspot.com/  

Josh Mitchell

http://mitchellfamilyrelations.blogspot.com/